If you're one of those women who is finding yourself getting cold feet about your upcoming marriage, there are actually a few valid reasons that perhaps you should pay close attention to. Since statistically about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, you'll want to make sure that your marriage has the very best possible chance of being in the other half. Remember, if you start having these jittery feelings right before your long-awaited wedding, backing out might be a bit difficult, but divorce is a lot more complicated. Here are a few signs that you should definitely not ignore, especially if you're suddenly feeling trapped.
1. Your motivation for entering into marriage is not really love.
If you were to examine your feelings, would your sole reason for marriage be love? Are you marrying him because you've felt pressured by friends, family or your ticking biological clock? Remember that great scene in the movie "My Cousin Vinnie"? Is that you? And, don't count on falling in love with him after marriage either. Sure, it might happen, but then again, it might not. True love is much like orgasms; if you don't feel it, don't fake it.
2. You keep hoping that someday he will change.
Sure, opposites attract, but if you just can't agree on anything from little things like which sports teams to cheer for, where to eat and where to go on vacation, to really big things like whether to have kids and matters of basic moral values, you might be headed for trouble. Couples with a lot in common still have to fight to make marriage work, so those that don't could be doomed to marital failure. Changing him into what you want him to be just might not be humanly impossible, so why try? Accept him as he is or forget it.
3. You struggle with too much conflict and you're not even married yet.
Let's face it, you most definitely should not be in need of any kind of marriage counseling when you're not even married yet. If there's too much conflict in your relationship already, chances are it will just get worse after you're married. Sure, your wedding plans are probably stressful, but if you're already disagreeing on every little thing, watch out, there's trouble on the horizon. You should both be able to work through any disagreement with a modicum of reason and calm, not lash out at each other at every turn.
4. You haven't ironed out any of life's major details yet.
Either you or your fiance may feel that it is a bit unromantic to talk too much about the future, but be careful not to leave too much to chance. Some things can wait until after you're married, but not everything can. If he is totally un-willing to discuss any future events like children, where to live, finances and careers, you might find out too late that you're not both on the same page. Have a heart-to-heart before it's too late. After all, you want to be going down life's road together, not separately.
5. You found out that he cheated on you and you're not even married yet!
This one may be last, but definitely not least. Come on, if he has ever cheated on you while you were a couple, chances are he won't stop cheating just because you're a married couple. As painful as it may be, you might want to consider cutting him loose, or at the least, postponing the wedding until you're sure that he's ready. Obviously, if he cheated, he isn't ready to tie the knot yet. Don't wait for lightning to strike you before you see the light.
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